I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
