This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So vagazzling was a success
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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