I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
