I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
