My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
