he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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