Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
