haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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