That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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