You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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