If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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