What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
