Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
