you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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