I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
