Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
