girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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