I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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