is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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