I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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