If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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