May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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