he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
