If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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