we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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