I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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