I woke up to her vacumming the grass
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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