It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
