Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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