she was so not down for the gang bang
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
