I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
