She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
