We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
