As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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