yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
