She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
