The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
