Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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