Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
