sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
