I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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