i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
