dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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