if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
