Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
