I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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