the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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