If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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