somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
