Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.

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(812): View more from Indiana

it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked

(1-812): View more from Indiana

tasteful.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.

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(510): View more from California

Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

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(760): View more from California

i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.

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