A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
