i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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