I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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