when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
