you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
