my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
