I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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