You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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