Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So many bounce houses so little time
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
