from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
