we have officially lost it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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