chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
