I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have aggressive nipples.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
