I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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