Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
