this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk