Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
