I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.