please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.