get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Still dying that you shit outside
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
